Barclay Talks Sport

This is such a mind-bogglingly simple idea to implement that I cannot for the life of me understand why it has not been adopted. Both codes of rugby use it very successfully and every which way you look at it, it works.

Being clear about which transgressions result in a sin-binning is key. For me, it's all about letting a player calm down a little and reduce the risk of a red card. It's also about on-the-spot punishment. So, swearing and handbags between players are where it should begin. I also feel a late, cynical tackle is another area. All these offences are yellow card jobs and the ref should still issue the card. The player heads to the Bin for 10 minutes and returns, we hope, with a clearer head.

And in addition to letting peace be restored and to maintaining eleven v eleven when the Bin time is done, there is another, really useful effect. It means the player is punished during the match in which he is playing. If one of the oppo hacks down my flying winger and gets a yellow card, I don't care at all that he will be suspended in two games time when his team plays some other outfit. I want the effect of his crime to be felt then and there. A mouth full of expletives or a crude challenge in midfield should be punished by a few minutes in the Bin. My team gets a short term advantage, like in rugby, ice hockey etc yet the game is not spoiled over the whole of its remaining course.

Like I say, you have to be careful what constitutes a binning offence but aside from that, can anyone see any downside whatever to this?

Next - Retrospective punishment using video evidence

So, here's a quiz question for you. Take Liverpool, Man Utd, Chelsea, Arsenal, Fulham and Portsmouth (I may have missed one or two). All have taken part in money-spinning tours and tournaments, as far afield as Asia and the US.

Which of these club's managers will be the first to moan about the amount of football being played this season?

Subtitle: Because if those at the head of the game were serious about cleaning up the foul-mouthed, cheating, whining crap we see too often on our pitches, they'd do this tomorrow...

It has worked brilliantly in Rugby Union and was tried and abandoned in football and all it is, is this: when a free kick is given, if a player shows dissent at the decision, the ball should be moved forwards ten yards and towarsd the centre opf the goal. So simple and so effective. And yet abandoned largely because, I believe that the ref had to book a player for dissent before he could then advance the free kick the fabled ten yards. Why a booking? No idea.

Here's what should be done. Same as before but with no necessity to book. If players still complain, march the ball forward another ten yards (so long as the winners of the free kick want it so) And what happens if the ball ends up in the penalty area? If it's an indirect free kick, nothing. If it's a direct free kick, then, well sorry chums, it becomes a penalty. It's so simple and if applied ruthlessly would be so effective at stamping out dissent at free kicks.

Even footballers with their often demonstrably small brains should be able to get their inflated heads around this one. Don't talk back. It has never worked in the history of football and now you might be costing your team the game. Is that so hard to understand? Is it so hard to implement? No and no.

Next time: Sin Bins

The news that there is to be a trial of the Hawk-eye technology on goal-lines is very welcome indeed. it demonstrates that, finally, the football authorities are dragging themselves together on the technology issues and pursuing the most promising. Whether a ball has crossed the line or not is clearly one of the most crucial decisions a referee can make. It is also one of the most difficult in marginal cases. With players all over the place, line of sight is seldom clear. Given the potential magnitude of any incorrect decision on the outcome of not just a match but a club's long-term future, the future of players and managers etc, the sooner this technology is fail-safe tested and adopted the better.

But a note of caution. I watched plenty of challenged decisions at Wimbledon where Hawk-eye was in use. And I'm not convinced it is utterly infallible. During the final, Nadal challenged an 'out' call and the ball was called 'in' by hawk-eye. Federer was incensed by this and I have to say that to my eye, the ball was long by two or three inches. It wasn't even close. Now I'm not saying my eye is better than some electronic gizmo. What I am saying is, let's not assume technology always, always gets it right. A TV camera looking along the baseline would have given us all immediate confirmation and provided cynics like Federer with a whole lot more confidence. I'd lay money Federer was right to be upset in this instance.

The sale of Thierry Henry by Arsenal to Barcelona is undeniably good business. £16million for a 30 year old who is becoming injury-prone is a lot of money. Even if the player is a fantastic professional, a consummate goalscorer and a man who has truly graced the premiership.

But what of Arsenal? Interesting one. No team relies solely on one player but Arsenal have come close with Henry. His departure follows that of David Dein and there is much chatter about the future of Arsene Wenger. To lose all three would seem like carelessness, to coin a phrase. Wenger remains central to future Arsenal success. The team is not as strong as in past years and Wenger needs to be there to usher in the new generation.

With competition for top four places in the prem genuinely hotting up at long last, Arsenal could find themselves dumped into the UEFA Cup. For them, a financial calamity. I'm no Arsenal fan but in the Henry-Wenger-Vieira heyday they were a joy to watch. The prem needs them to remain title contenders. I fear that if Wenger does go, and a striker is not found to replace Henry's goals, a preiod in the relative wilderness beckons.

England's 3-0 victory against a pretty lame Estonia side was the minimum expectation. I said we should have scored six and we could have. Joe Cole's opener was a goal to grace any international stage. And there was plenty of promise too but what must be worrying is that much of it was provided by David Beckham. I'm delighted to see him back in the England side. He should never have been dropped in the first place. But he cannot go on forever. His move to LA Galaxy might take the edge off certain of his abilities. Pace at a higher level might start to surprise him for instance. But his crossing, surely peerless in the world game to date, is something that comes from innate talent and perfected on a training ground. He will never lose it until he retires.

Beckham is so dangerous for any opposition because he is so unfailingly accurate. And from any distance you care to name. Sad to note that we would not be worried about Euro qualification had he remained in the team. Sadder that altrhough we have some fine potential in Lennon and Wright-Phillips, we do not have anyone who can hold a candle to DB in terms of accuracy and sheer reliability. It's all very well running past defenders but if your crosses end up in Row H, you aren't a whole lot of use. Beckham never bothered going past people. Why, when you can land the ball at your striker's feet from fifty yards away?

Long may he play. But what will we do when he hangs up his boots?

A shame. A great shame. Yes, he did that silly thing in booking a player three times but hands up any of you who haven't made a daft mistake in your life... thought so. He's been our best, most consistent referee for many years now and his thoughts deserve airtime and respect. Forget that you were at a game once when he made a crap decision, it is immaterial. he's been a great professional. Even Colina made mistakes. Just that people were too scared to say so.

Unfortunately, the FA are 'disappointed' with some of his comments so far. And no doubt they'll be apoplectic when they read his book. Their reaction should have been to listen and try and understand. But no, falling into line with players and clubs is far more, er, lucrative. They do not realise the game is actually in trouble. Referees are leaving in their thousands because they get no respect, no support and no credit for a very difficult job. I tried it once. Good grief, never again. Insanely difficult and I had good friends of mine yelling right into my face for getting it wrong. No refs = no football. Ignorance of laws = chaos. Unless some, actually quite simple, changes are made, one day the bubble will truly burst.

I'm going to do a series of posts (in the Sport Tech section) on what should (but won't) be done to improve the standards of sportsmanship, respect and fair play in the game. Give me a couple of weeks and the first one will be up. This has nothing to do with research and everything to do with other commitments outside of blogosphere (yes, there is such a place).

It's funny, it really is. But the reports that England are to go on the offensive against Estonia tonight are actually being sold to us as something exciting rather than the utterly bleeding obvious. That incisive man, Steve Maclaren has come to the astonishing conclusion that a) we have to win tonight and, b) attacking from the outset might help achieve a). For God's sake, any other tactic should mean his immediate sacking and imprisonment. Any other result than a win should see the same punishment meted out.

Estonia have lost all their qualifying games so far and have not managed a single goal. Never mind merely an attacking formation. Given that the oppo are unlikely to advance over the halfway line without cotton wool in their nostrils, we should go at them like it's a club game on a cold February afternoon. We should be aiming to score at least six. This is not rocket science and it is not disrespectful to Estonia. Fact is, they are not in our class and should be dispatched accordingly. Goal difference could be crucial given our pathetic performance thus far.

Oh, and come on you FAROES!

Now look, I'm a cricket fan. A big cricket fan. But you will never see me stand up and claim that day three of a test match is more exciting that a football match. Except today. I'm sorry but the FA Cup Final was boring. Dull, dull, yawn dull, snore. Chelsea won it with the only move of any merit in the match and that was after 118 minutes. The frist half was so numbing that I turned over to see the last overs before tea at the Lords Test Match. There was more passion on display there, I can tell you. The Cup Final got talked up in the second half and there was an improvement but that's a bit like saying that being alive is better than being dead and expecting everyone to be impressed at your incisiveness. Nothing could hide the fact that this was a match played by two 'titans' who were far more scared of losing than they were excited about winning. It just goes to show that this showpiece desperately needs romance to engender passion. By which I mean, it needs an underdog.

Now this is just silly. I know Sheff Utd are unhappy about being relegated and all that stuff but requesting that the league be expanded to 21 teams to keep them in the prem is plain stupid. Next they'll be arguing that points tallies souldn't decide who goes down, it should be number of corners in a season. Some measure that would leave them 17th anyway. Time to let this go, Blades and focus on getting back up at the first attempt.

Let's be quite clear about this. The reason this Tevez and West Ham affair won't go away is purely money driven. Had the Hammers been relegated, there would have been much sage nodding about just desert and that would have been that. They didn't and hence someone else is losing money. More than that, any club that finishes above West Ham should they be deducted points will earn more from their elevated position. I know some of those jumping on the bad wagon aren't affected this way but talk is easy and morals are cheap hits in the PR of football.

Sheff Utd's chairman said: 'I feel cheated because losing to Wigan wasn't the root cause of our relegation.' Damn right it wasn't. It was because you didn't score 39 points in 38 games. It was because you lost heavily at times in the season and so your goal difference was one worse than Wigan's if you lost to them 2-1. It has little to do with Tevez and West Ham. I have no axe to grind with Sheff Utd. it is sad for any club (barring Norwich) to be relegated. But you're just clutching at straws here. The Premier league could have levied a points deduction, they were not obliged to do so, and they didn't. I can't see legal action working unless West Ham are found to have provided false information. There lies your only hope and for the sake of the tattered remnants of the game's honour, I pray it is a forlorn one.

The desperation to stay in the Premiership plumbed new depths with the news that several struggling clubs were considering legal action over the West Ham and Carlos Tevez affair. This is more of the same. All of a sudden beleaguered Chairmen and managers have another straw at which to grasp. Surely the Tevez (and Mascherano) deal requires West Ham to be docked points? And in passing and by pure coincidence relegating them and saving Wigan, Fulham and Sheffield United. Too late, alas, for poor Charlton.

The light is switched back on. All of their problems this season can be laid at hte blame of one footballer who didn't want to play for West Ham and went to Liverpool, and another who is admittedly very good but who has had little critical impact until the last few matches. Funny that West Ham's resurgence conincided with the whole team starting to play the Curbishley way. This is overlooked by the strugglers who all forget that you only play West Ham twice. Still, doesn't stop the blinkered gazing to Upton Park to lay blame as opposed to the ground at their feet.

I find this whole saga rather pathetic. None of these clubs would give a monkeys if they were safe from the drop. None of them raised a legal eyebrow at the start of the season. It's like school boys moaning that it isn't fair having not consulted the rules. Rules, incidentally, that they agreed on themselves. All of them have missed the point. Only Wigan manager, Paul Jewell sees it how it is. It's nothing to do with Carlos Tevez, he said, in summary. It's to do with us (Wigan) not playing well enough and winning enough games throughout the whole of the season. Well said from the only man to come out of this thing with any credit in the discordant chorus of whining and crying from other allegedly grown men.

Check this out Failing to agree a new contract? It'll be because he refused the clause which states you can't have hair that is just plain stupid and wear a Boro shirt. Actually, no one should be allowed outdoors with hair like dear Abel's.

My friend Ariel asked me yesterday if I, like Niall Quinn, was astonished by Roy Keane's success as Sunderland manager. And he has done amazingly well.

But astonished? No, not really. After all, I'd play my heart and soul out every week for a man who would probably come round and eat my children if I didn't.

I watched the semi final second leg last night between AC Milan and Manchester United. It was 3-0 to Milan, making them 5-3 aggregate winners. I heard Fergie start to place blame in various places. Correctly at the feet of his shambolic defence and incorrectly at the feet of the FA Premier League for failing to look after English clubs who play in Europe.

Sir Alex, it's like this. If you're fortunate enough to be in charge of a club fighting for the highest honours in domestic and European football, it is your responsibility to make sure you have enough players of the requisite quality to face the battles ahead. You know that if you progress in a cup, it impacts domestic league fixtures and causes congestion. This happens every season so it shouldn't be a surprise.

Look to your big stars. Scholes, Giggs, Ronaldo and Rooney. None of them performed. None of them could spot a pass or shoot on target. None of them appeared able to handle the pressure inside the San Siro. They bottled it. And so you lost.

OK, so the first FA Cup final at the new Wembley Stadium will be between Chelsea and Manchester United. These are, without doubt, the two leading teams in the country right now. I've been cogitating for a while now and can't make up my mind. Is this a hugely fitting final tie between two giants of English football or is it final proof that the FA Cup has little romance any more, that the semi-final draw could even have been -err- seeded (this is not an allegation) and that yet another game between these two is frankly, dull. Why bother with the earlier rounds because the dream is dead? Or is it that, kept apart by chance, our best sides have reached the final?

Anyway, what it does give us is great potential for yet more pathetic whingeing from Uncle Jose and altogether pithier comment from Sir Alex. Can't wait. But in the meantime, what do you think about this cup final? Regular contributor Ariel, had this to say:

Well, considering the damn thing should never have been built in London in the first place, because the National Stadium should have been located in the Midlands in order to make it easier for as many people as possible to actually get to it and provide much-needed investment outside of our already-bloated capital; and considering the vast amounts of money that have been thrown at something managed by a load of lackadaisical foreigners whose hearts clearly weren't in the job then yes, it seems that Manyoo vs Chelski is the perfect first FA Cup Final for the New Wembley...

Mind you, I'm still smarting about Bury being chucked out on a technicality, and look what effect that had on the whole rest of our season... grumph...

A reasoned response if ever I read one... come on, people, respond.

I was away so didn't post directly after the match. Had I been home, I still wouldn't have done so. You know I watched more of a meaningless World Cup cricket group game in the end since it was the only way to lower my blood pressure.

Israel were a poor side. A couple of decent players but a poor side. England were far poorer given the ability our players are supposed to have. It was a diabolical performance. Anyone taking any positives out of it for England needs to be shot until it really hurts. I could not believe Maclaren standing there saying we should have won but for not scoring a goal. That it was only the goals that were lacking.

Give me strength. The reason there were no goals was because the creativity, passing, movement and imagination were all utterly absent. Football is about scoring goals, Steve. That's how you win games. I'm going to open a restaurant and serve you a meal. Except there won't be any food. I hope you understand, Steve that the food was all that was lacking from your meal.

Idiot.

Now this is funny. Well it would be if Brian Mawhinney didn't actually believe it might be a good idea. Ending all drawn league games in penalty shoot outs. I'm almost lost for words. Where to begin on this utter stupidity? I actually did check the date to make sure it wasn't April 1st.

Apparently, because people find shoot-outs exciting, there should be millions of them because that would make every draw end in high tension. No, no and thrice no. Here's why in a few ways that spring immediately to mind.

1) Shoot outs are only exciting for neutrals. For those supporters of the clubs involved, they are terrifying, gut-wrenching ordeals that we would not wish on Osama Bin Laden.
2) They are only exciting if there is something to lose. A semi-final is something to lose. Or a final. Here is drama, theatre and terror. Not getting your one point for a draw is not drama. it is barely a shrug of the shoulders.
3) If my team goes out of a cup competition on penalties, I am gutted. I have been there too many times and the hurt never lessens. Similarly if my team wins in such a way, the cascade of relief is one in which I gladly drown. It just about balances the appalling squeeze on my heart that has just preceded it. If, on the other hand, my team is denied a point and therefore stays 12th rather than reaching the heady heights of 11th, there is always next week. If my team is relegated as a result, then I predict a riot...
4) I can never understand this desperation to make something genuinely exciting into something that is not by making it all-pervading. Hang on, let's have Christmas every day as Roy Wood suggested. Or maybe have a world cup every year (actually, it was once mooted that it should be every two years if I remember rightly). Please, Lord Mawhinney, try to comprehend that anticipation breeds excitement and mundanity kills it.
5) Shoot outs would not increase excitement in any case, merely give another bullet to those poorer sides who reckon they might be able to hang out for 90 minutes and then win on pens.

Next he'll be wanting to cut out the middleman and ditch the preceding 90 mins entirely. Just think, you could have a whole league season in one afternoon at a big stadium filled with lots of nets, huddles of players and capering goalies. What fun.

Want to know why the FA Cup is losing its magic? Quarter final weekend has just gone. But you might have missed it. After all, not one of the matches managed to start at 3pm on Saturday. Instead, all were played at odd times of the day to satiate the monster that is the TV viewer.

The games weren't bad, they were all just played at the wrong time of day. And while Home Park, Plymouth, was full to bursting, that wasn't the case everywhere. You can blame ticket prices if you like but don't forget that playing matches at a time just right for sitting about with a cup of tea or a beer at home might just hav a bearing.

Hurrumph

Take a look at this piece from the arch publicity seeker himself.

Here, encapsulated, is why I am driven mad by the tunnel-vision of football managers. Here goes the 'special one', handing out criticism while being unable to draw parallels with his own team. Nestled in the piece is a bit about diving...

It was the statement that Man Utd have won the odd game (at least) due to the diving antics of Christiano Ronaldo. And maybe they have. Ronaldo does fall down easily. I'm not defending him. But the clear inference is that Chelsea do not benefit from such behaviour. I have two words for you Jose: Arjen Robben. A man in the blue shirt of Chelsea who is surely knocked over by falling autumn leaves such is his paucity of strength and balance.

And both players are far too good to need to dive which is another story entirely and please don't get me started on that or I'll develop a Homer Simpson-sized stress bump. Oh just a bit then... have some pride, damn you. Most of us would sacrifice close relatives to be blessed with your skill. So why are you in such a hurry to drop to the ground rather than show it off at every possible moment? And more often than not you chose to drop like a snared weasel when to stay on your feet would be so much more advantageous. Develop some backbone, please.

Oh and finally, Jose, every team wins games they don't deserve. That's how teams win titles and trophies. Like you did on Sunday. Work it out.

If you, like I did, watched the six nations clash between Ireland and England on Saturday, you too might find it hard to focus on the game itself. This is because the British national anthem was played at Croke Park, the scene of the Bloody Sunday massacre of 1920 when British auxillaries gunned down players and supporters in a revenge attack.

There are people alive today whose friends and relatives died that day and you could be forgiven for assuming the Irish crowd would react negatively to the anthem being played at the scene of such an emotive historical event. But not only did they applaud the English team out on to the pitch, like all rugby crowds treat their opposition, they stood in respectful silence while God Save The Queen was played and applauded warmly afterwards. It brought a lump to the throat, it really did.

I'm posting this in the football section too because every moronic anthem-booing England fan should take note of how to behave, how to move on and accept, if not to forgive, the errors of the past. I still have no idea why some England football fans boo opposition national anthems beyond some pathetic attempt to upset that nation's team but I do know that the Irish would have had a stronger case for doing so. 87 years of hurt for starters.

As for the game, England were outplayed in every area of the pitch. We lacked pace in the centre and it was exposed. The Irish pack was more powerful and passionate and the flair was all from the men in green. The kick through for Horgan's try was sublime. We could only really have hurt them on the wings, in my opinion, but the Irish defence strangled our possession, won plenty of our line-out ball and stopped us working it wide. The one time we did, the debutant Strettle scored and he was a bright point for us. England didn't necessarily play too badly, they were just outclassed.

Oh and one final thing... Scotland v Italy. What the hell was that first six minutes all about? I have never seen the like in my life. And if you didn' see it, get a video and watch it. It is amazing and, for an Englishman, extremely amusing.

Have a quick look at this item. Talks about the rescinding of a red card an Ipswich player received in the FA Cup tie against Watford on Saturday.

All fine and dandy; the lad is free to play against Wolves tonight and will serve no ban. Doesn't help with the defeat on Saturday though, does it? And it cannot be argued that the sending off did not influence the game. It clearly did. We played with 10 players for 45 minutes, a massive disadvantage that proved to be totally unnecessary.

I'm not going to have a go at the ref but this is surely a case for video review immediately following the incident. There are a few decisions that change games so dramatically that there should be no doubt the correct decision has been made. A sending off is one. A penalty is another. The ball crossing the line or not for a goal is a third. I firmly believe that the captain of each side should be able to appeal three decisions in a match and have them assessed by a video ref. If the appeal is upheld, you still have your three strikes. If not, you lose one. It happens in some tennis tournaments already and adds to the excitement rather than diminishing it. Rugby and cricket have adopted video for key decisions too.

Crucially, it does not undermine the official. Actually, they often get it right. And before the cries of anguish over how it will strangle the spectacle gain too much volume, I suspect that most decisions could be reviewed in the time it takes for the average milling throng of outraged players to be waved away by the referee to allow a restart.

So much can rest on a game these days. Jobs can be lost. Teams relegated with the disastrous financial implications that can have. And in this particular case, a good footballing spectacle was ruined by a wrong decision. Fans deserve better than that. And referees need all the help they can get because they truly are alone out there.

Football must look at technology and use it appropriately. This is appropriate and it will not ruin the pint-after-the-match debate one jot because three appeals is not a big number in 90 minutes. Think about it.

Who cares if it was a penalty in that game on Sunday between Wigan and Arsenal? Wigan's manager, Paul Jewell is raging at the wrong man. For those that didn't see it, Emile Heskey went down in the box after powder puff contact with Arsenal's Flamini. It might technically have been a penalty but the point is this.

All Heskey had to do was keep on running and he would have had a clear shot on goal from closer than 12 yards. He would probably have scored. Instead, he chose to fall over. I absolutely refuse to believe that the contact with Flamini was enough to unbalance him. But Heskey is famous for this. He is a big, strong man but appears to have all the balance of a new born foal on an ice rink. He spends more time on his arse than his feet some games. Sad, really.

So, Mr Jewell, whether or not a penalty should have been given is actually neither here nor there. There should have been no decision to make. Rage at Heskey. Implore him, no, order him, to stay on his feet. He will score more goals and you will win more games. Look inside for the answers to your problems and stop bleating about refs.

Some premiership managers are seriously one-eyed. I'm beginning to think Mourinho is the worst of them. Having lost to Liverpool very comfortably at the weekend, poor old Jose is lamenting the lack of strength in depth of his squad once more. Apparently he can't perform miracles. WHAT? The special one? What an admission.

It must be difficult for him, facing up to the problems that every premiership manager, nay, every club manager in the country, faces on a daily basis. Having to play players out of position. Oh, the hardship. Or perhaps he thinks that Newcastle's Nobby Solano is actually a full-back. I could go on. The point is, that he implies that the only way he can stop the 'rot' at Chelsea is to buy someone in. Probably an experienced international for £10m or so. And this is because those in his reserves/youths etc are not good enough to play in the premiership.

Why not? If you have a club structure that involves a squad at various stages of development, it is incumbent on you to ensure that you have emergency cover for every position at your club. If your youths and reserves are not progressing at the right pace then they are either the wrong players or they are not being pushed and coached to the right level.

Look at the Bridge, Jose. Go visit the rest of your players. See the talent you surely have just waiting their chance and who are all, to a man, right royally hacked off that you consider them sub-standard. Do something different and take a risk.

Blimey, you've even got those two lads who are the product of football icon...

Remember the halcyon days when a club could genuinely expect to be able to climb through the divisions and reach the top flight using a combination of luck, hard work, guile, no little skill and maybe the odd fresh face at a critical time. Wimbledon. They did it. But they'll probably be the last unless Bill Gates buys Torquay United.

I know that even back then, the bigger clubs had better options through greater finance. But in those dim and distant days, I could reasonably believe that Ipswich Town had a chance of winning the old first division.

Now, if you aren't in the premiership, that looks a forlorn hope at best. Like David beating Goliath only his sling is broken and there aren't any stones on the ground anyway. The new £625m overseas TV rights deal puts the tin lid on it. All will be divided between the top 20 clubs without even a nod at those below who still provide a good percentage of the players who grace it. And the gap between Prem and Championship, already wide, is about to become a chasm with a flimsy footbridge Indiana Jones would look at twice before crossing.

That's because now, you can earn £30m for coming last. What? Surely even the most cataclysmically badly run club can't fritter that much away. Not with parachute payments for a season or so too. Charlton, Watford, West Ham et al... sit back and relax. If you happen to be relegated, you will be so with so much cash you needn't be concerned about re-promotion. You can retain players, buy the best of the rest, do whatever and know the rest of the championship hasn't a hope of competing unless a sugar daddy comes a calling. If you fail to get back up at the first attempt, you should probably take up a different sport. Yes all right it doesn't come into play til next season but you see what I'm getting at.

Small wonder premiership clubs, players and managers have delusions of grandeur and importance. I'm not even sure they're delusions any more. This is a depressing time for those outside the top flight right now. It doesn't work that richer clubs pay bigger transfer fees. Not to cash strapped league clubs they don't. Only to other rich clubs.

It isn't a pyramid anymore. It's more a gentle sided plateau upon which sits a scorpion-encrusted, snake-encircled, slick-walled rock spire. Go on Indiana, climb that.

I heard Alan Green on FiveLive, twittering on about Becks. He was suggesting that the decision to move to the US signalled the imminent disappearance of Beckham from the radar and that because Major League Soccer is a 'joke' in the US, he shouldn't be heading west.

Respectfully, Mr Green, you are totally missing the point. Let's put the money aside for the moment, though I have no doubt it played its part like it does in every transfer. The fact that this story is all over the sports press in the UK, Spain and no doubt across the footballing world should be telling us that Beckham is unlikely to disappear the moment he gets on the plane. Does Alan Green really think that when Beckahm first dons the LA Galaxy colours, there will be no international press in attendance? Does he seriously think that there will be no interest in the progress of the biggest football celebrity the world has thus far seen? Please.

Think a little more laterally here. The owners of LA Galaxy have not bought Beckham on a whim. He is a massive figure in the UK and Japan, countries with which the US have particularly close ties. His influence on football watchers throughout the world really should not be underestimated. And for heaven's sake, at least they are trying to do something to raise the profile of their sport among the adult population. It is because the sport is currently a joke that huge names like Beckham are needed. It doesn't matter that he is a class above every other player. The fact that he is there is all that matters. It's about speculating to accumulate. Applaud the effort to improve the future, don't deride the present.

Beckham is his own man. He and his management make very few errors; and you cannot deny how hard the man works everywhere he goes inside or outside the game. He's already played for two of the biggest clubs in the world. This is a smart step away and a plan for the future. Whether he can being a revolution in the MLS is open to debate. But disappear? I hardly think so.

It is traditional to knock David Beckham though there has always seemed to me little reason to do so. To my knowledge he has done little to enrage fans other than to play for Man Utd and get himself sent off against Argentina in 1998. Granted that last was stupid and petulant and might have cost us the game. But only might have. We scored a good winner, chalked off by the ref then did what we do with or without him. Lost on pens. But anyway.

So this US thing then. For the money? Well if it is, who cares? Here's the choice he was effectively given.
1. Carry on playing for Real by sitting on the bench but thanks for helping us sell so many shirts.
2. Do the same in Italy for a Serie 'A' Club.
3. Come to England, play in the premiership and suffer extraordinary abuse from the fans regarding you and your wife and from the press because you aren't still at your peak after 15 years at the top.
4. Come to the US, a country which you and your wife love. Add some real celebrity to major league soccer, playing for a team whose owner wants the game to be massive over there. Knock about with your 'A' list friends. Add energy to the Beckham soccer schools you've opened there. Get no filth from fans or media. Ever. Oh, and have $120-odd million over the next five years too.

Tough choice, eh?

David Beckham has gone to take on a new challenge. Anyone who thinks he has just 'gone for the money' is ignorant and blind. And jealous too, I expect. The fact is that he has always given his all at everything he has done. It will be no different this time. He loves his football and he loves his celebrity. What better place to enjoy them both together at this time in his life? Good on you, sir. Good on you.

I've checked. It is not April 1st. Therefore, we can assume that poor old Jose really believes he is having a terribly hard time at the helm of Chelsea FC right now. Not enough quality players, apparently. A terrible injury list. I mean, he probably only has twenty or so full internationals fit to play. His expensively mussed up hair must be a little greyer every day.

But it gets worse. He isn't to be allowed to buy and so he won't sell anyone either. I'll pick up your toys for you Jose, there there.

But it gets worse. This are hard times for Chelsea. His worst in football management, he says. But they'll pull through. Somehow. I thank god I have a spare shirt as I fear my heart is bleeding. One day, Jose, you really must visit Earth. Nice little planet, just to the left of Mars. Hard times? Give me strength. Or as my fine friend Ariel put it: 'well, boo hoo.'

But you can see Jose's point, surely. Chelsea's disastrous recent form and apocalyptic injusry crisis, plus their apparent lack of finance for new players has made a car crash of their season. A lowly second in the Premiership table, through to the next round of the FA cup, second leg of league cup semi to come at home and only just scraping into the Champions League knock out top of their league. Who would swap to take on that mess? Not Torquay, that's for sure.

You may believe, Jose M, that your breast-beating brings great sympathy. I think ridicule and contempt are more likely reactions. Just get on with it and stop whining, please.

I'd like to think that I will not rant on such things as this too much but, honestly. The long faces, tragedy-stricken expressions and acres of column inches devoted to one particular element of this match might make the uninitiated think there had been a planet-wide disaster.

And that disaster is, apparently, Liverpool shipping six goals at Anfield for the first time in 70 years. Big bloody deal. Ian Rush, who does a very good long face, appeared as if someone had massacred his entire extended family and implied that it shouldn't be allowed for oppo teams to score so many at Anfield. Like this smear on the club's stats should be illegal, certainly expunged from the collective consciousness and possibly that the perpetrators rounded up and shot for insulting the fans on the Kop. There is no doubt that I, and the rest of the football watching public, am being asked to feel terribly sorry for the poor old 'pool.

Why does this get my goat? I'll tell you why. A couple of seasons ago, Liverpool beat Ipswich Town 6-0 at Portman Road. It snuffed out a recovery and signalled our slide out of the premiership. We got relegated, lost £30 million and went into administration. I don't recall us beating our breasts, wailing or gnashing our teeth. Or anyone feeling sorry for us. Nor should they.

Liverpool, on Tuesday night, got knocked out of a relatively pointless cup competition. GET OVER IT.

Welcome!

Here it is, the first post in a new blog. And it's just to tell you what's coming up because if you want to know why I've popped up here, then you need to click on 'About This Blog'.

Football

Christmas and early new year is a perennially busy time in sport. For footie fans, the Christmas and New Year programme is swiftly followed by the FA Cup 3rd Round... surely the best day in the English football calendar (unless you're Bury and have just been chuckled out, of course. Don't get me started about excessive punishments for minor administration issues).

Football, though, is in danger of eating itself. Never mind the wages and all that mullarky (though they are plainly obscene) worry much more about the on and off field behaviour of players and managers and begin to wonder when people will start saying 'enough' in big numbers and turn away. It would be a tragedy.

Football is a peerless spectacle when played with skill and spirit. But it is nauseating when played with no respect for players or officials; and where the most common sight is an incandescent player practically vomiting his rage at an official despite being guilty, and very often when in no position to have an opinion. Grow up. Be men (in men's football). Have some dignity. Some pride in your performance. Take responsibility for your actions and those of your team mates.

Cricket

This year we've been treated to why the Aussies are still the world's number one cricket team and why it is that the job only just begins when you win something big. Like the Ashes.

Still, two tests to come and despite the fact that the urn is lost, pride and revenge are massive motivators. This time, there will be no such thing as a dead rubber, I can assure you. But is it time to be able to appeal desicions as a batsman in the same way you can in some tennis events? Now this wouldn't necessarily have saved England losing the ashes but Andrew Strauss's last three dismissals were all not out. I think we'd be looking at 2-0, not 3-0 if he hadn't been out so early on the last day of the second test.

Darts

The PDC World Championship of Darts kicked off this week and it is simply marvellous to watch from the players walking through the crowd to the final dart that is sunk in double top. And to all those who think it merely a pub game. Try it. Really try it. From the right distance away too. See how small that treble twenty bed looks? Now get all three of your darts in it. Regularly. And even if you don't, get them very, very close. Still laughing?

Tennis

Early next year we have the start of the tennis season from Australia. Henman is still there and still dangerous (and let me get one thing straight, anyone who gets to number 4 in the world and stays in the top ten for five years plus is a player of extraordinary talent who should be respected utterly) but I do expect great things from Andy Murray. He has the game, the aggression and the coach. It'll be his head that determines his place among the greats should he attain such status.

Rugby

Six nations rugby union is coming early in 2007. What can England hope for? Well, with Brian Ashton in charge, perhaps the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned on. He has spoken of the need to get the enjoyment back into the players and that is a laudable if challenging goal. If he can do it, England are up there with the best. And if he can maintain it in the face of top class opposition, if the players still play with freedom and lack of fear, we can yet come close to retaining the world cup. But it's hard. Remember Sven Goran Eriksson talked about much the same things when he took over England football. Didn't last did it? We can hope, though, and that is the essence of supporting any sport.

Well, plenty of issues raised there. I'll tackle them all in the coming weeks. If you want something discussed sooner rather than later, post a comment and I'll get on to it. But bear with me... baby Barclay is due on 14th January. Let chaos reign.